Sarah's Analog Blog (circa 1992)

Throughout my childhood there were several occasions when I suddenly got the "good idea" to keep a diary for recording my thoughts and feelings.  This idea usually came to me after I had been gifted a new, empty journal from a family member.  The idea would continue to sound good for several days, a few weeks, or even a month, but then, as easily as I had started writing, I would grow bored with the act of keeping a record of the day's events and add one more partially filled diary to the growing stack of abandoned thoughts.

While visiting the US over the summer, I found my old diaries in the desk of my old room and had fun looking through them.  Now, at the beginning of a new year when most people are looking forward to what the future has in store, I'd like to take a look back to remember where I came from and how I became the person I am today...  Just kidding--no deep philosophical crap here--Many of my old diary entries are absolutely hilarious, dorky, and ridiculous; so much so that I couldn't keep them to myself.

The first diary I had was started back in 1992 when I was 7 years old during the summer after 1st grade (or at least that is my best guess because I did not actually record the year at the time).

Notice the very specific date...

 The front and back inside covers are decorated with photos of the dolphins at the Minnesota Zoo, which I had expertly cut out of the newspaper and pasted inside.  Why dolphins?  Because this was to become my "dolfins diure."

Already on my way to becoming the next Picasso (or Lisa Frank).

I used this as less of a "diary" and more of a journal of facts and stories that I came up with.  Before reading the following excerpts, please note that I had no idea how to spell most words and, having a slight speech impediment at the time, often used some very creative spellings.  Also, to make it easier to read now I will use the space bar appropriately, but feel free to imagine these paragraphs with absolutely no spaces between the words for more authenticity.  

So, without further ado, I give you "Sarah's dolfins diure" page 1, entitled "Sarah and the dulfns":
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ons upon a time thir was a grle named Sarah and she loved dlfins and she loved them so much she neu all about them and she wonted one for a pet But she cunit have one but one knite on the 31 she cote to sleep with them and Beefor the 31 a nuw baby dolfin was born and she cote to see it the end.
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I know many authors say it is best to "write what you know" but I was basically plagiarizing my own life with that story.  The following entry doesn't pretend to be a fairy tale, but actually lays out more details of the time I went to the MN zoo's after hours dolphin sleepover (which clearly set the theme for this diary).
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Page 2, entitled "the dolfin 3lepovre" (yes, I actually made a backwards 's' that looked like a three):
wen I went to the datfin sleep ovre I maed a shrt and I gat a bloon and it strte wen I was spost to be asleep wen the zoo closd and we had to have lie is we lornd alot abaut dolfine and we got to look in the kichin and I got to help gat the food rede and we got a snac and in the mornin we got sum gume fish.
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Adding to the confused garble that was my spelling is that for some reason I often crossed my 'l's so they look like 't's.  Some of those words even I can't decipher...
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I also had a page called "thins I nowe ubout dolfins," but the crown jewel of this diary has to be the play I wrote about a lumberjack...named Sarah.  I believe I wrote this after seeing the Monty Python lumberjack sketch and my play comes complete with a catchy tune as well.

"Sarah the lumber Jack"
this play is about a lumber Jack named Sarah she lived when only men were lumber Jacks
seen 1
Lum- o a lumber Jack's lives for me me me me o a lumber Jack's lives for me yese me me me cuting lumber down to the groun o a lumber Jack's lives for me
Sarah- Yae clap clap good singing.
Lum- who are you.
Sarah- well I'm a lumber Jack of cors.
Lum- whats yor name
Sarah- Sarah
Lum- Why did you come here
Sarah- I came to look for a job
Lum- you can be a lumber jack
Sarah- good.
seen 2
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Yes, unfortunately seen 2 is blank, so this masterpiece remains incomplete.  Though I don't know if any ending could have been better than Sarah the lumberjack getting hired on the spot (even in a time when only men where lumberjacks) and simply stating "good" when she is given the job.

Five years later, I would find this journal again while cleaning out my desk and start writing in it once more.  But that, my friends, is a story for another day.

*Originally posted in January 2011 in my other blog:  http://sarahheartsjapan.blogspot.jp/ *